The Power of Half--Kevin and Hannah Salwen

I just learned of this book today through Civic Ventures website, http://www.encore.org/ I have included here an email interview that Marci Alboher did with the one of the authors. There are some great quotes and some great ideas for families like the Salwens who might be interested in taking on some local or global problem as a family. One idea that I had related to reading this interview was to encourage my family to read the book together and take on a similar issue that would incorporate our adult children, our grandchildren and some of our good friends.

This interview is a very good and provocative read:

“We didn’t set out to be obnoxious consuming yuppies,” said Kevin Salwen, as he opened the discussion of the book he wrote with his daughter, Hannah, The Power of Half at a New York City bookstore one snowy night in February. The room was filled with people who had come to hear about how Salwen and his family decided to sell their Atlanta mansion, move to a home half the size, and donate half the sales price – about $800,000 – to The Hunger Project to help villagers in Ghana.

It all began with Hannah, then 14, who had one of those moments that aren’t easy to shake. Father and daughter had stopped their car at a traffic light in Atlanta and were sandwiched between a homeless man with a cardboard sign and a man driving a Mercedes. That night Hannah became consumed with the inequities between the Mercedes driving man and his homeless counterpart and started nudging the rest of the family to think about doing something about that kind of inequity. The something they decided to do – and the process the Salwen family used to get there – is the subject of a book that will likely become required reading for those interested in philanthropy, as well as those interested in life with teenagers.

I had the privilege of working with Salwen around the time he was wrapping up the writing of this book. And it’s been a treat for me to watch as the book garnered the attention it deserves. Below is an excerpt from a recent email chat he and I had about the book:



Q: You are asking others to think about making similar changes in their own lives. You’re clear that not everyone has a 6,500-square-foot home they want to sell, but you ask them to think about what they can do within their own lives. What do you say to those who tell you they can barely take care of themselves and their families, let alone manage to give half of anything to others?

A: I’ll answer that in two ways: First, people who are struggling can find such joy and community in giving that it can help make their problems seem more manageable. Everyone has something to give, especially just a little time in their busy and difficult lives. If you build a project based on the road map Hannah describes in the book, you can make yourself feel better and more integral into the community at a time when you might be feeling little but stress and loneliness.

Second, and conversely, it may just not be the right time for those in the most dire straits. There are times in all our lives when we have more to give than at other times. And no, we don’t expect anyone else to sell their houses, but each of us can ask: Do I have more than enough of something in my life that could be of use to someone else? Time watching TV or surfing the web? Clothing that no longer fits? An ability to give someone hurting a hug? We’re betting the answer is “yes” almost all the time.



Q: Research tells us that it feels good and even boosts happiness to help others. And your book illustrates that. You travel with McDonald’s gift cards in the car glove compartment to give to the homeless; family dinners at the diner turn into a game of how to figure out where to do charitable work; Hannah springs out of bed, jazzed about working with you on a Habitat for Humanity house. How can parents create an environment that makes giving and philanthropy both natural and fun?

A: It’s funny, in our world we’ve created a belief that consuming is fun – let’s go shopping! – and service is work. But service is community and it gives us a much deeper and sustainable level of happiness. So, a few thoughts:

Make sure you are finding the right service fit; it can be debilitating to work in service tasks you don’t enjoy. For instance, I used to tutor kids in English. I was a writer so I was “supposed to,” right? But I couldn’t stand the pace of progress. It was way too glacial for me. It wasn’t until I discovered the instant gratification of building a Habitat (for Humanity) house (and, by the way, I don’t have much in the way of construction skills) that I learned to love community work.

In our family, we never force someone to go along to a project they don’t love to do. For instance, when we serve dinner to homeless men at the Central Night Shelter, Joseph often doesn’t go; it’s “not his thing.” But he loves working at the Food Bank and eagerly signs up for that. And at the end of each service event, we always go out for a fun dinner or treat; it gives us time to talk over what we just did and increases our relationship time.


Q: What kinds of creative things have others done as a result of reading The Power of Half?

A: We know of a family buying a house less than half the size they had been looking for. (Came as a shock to their realtor!) We know of a girl in New York who, the night she heard us speak, went home and cleaned out her closets to send clothing to Haiti. We know of several of Hannah’s friends who are using half their babysitting money for charitable causes. We know of a CBS News producer who called the network’s story about us “the most expensive story I ever did because my wife immediately asked, ‘What do we have more than enough of?’”

Boomer Camp Part 3: The Event

Here are some of my thoughts about the Boomer Camp Experience:

Where: Lost Antler Ranch. This is a world class resort in spectacular Estes Park, Colorado. It is very easy to get to from Denver International Airport. If the traffic moves well, you can make the drive in an hour. As you can see from the photos, the place is beautiful. The accomodations are very nice. They accomodate about 30 adults in beds. All linens are provided. All meals will be prepared and served in a fully equipped commercial grade kitchen. We will eat like kings.

What: We will meet for 3 full days. In the mornings and evenings we will work through the issues that I mentioned in the Boomer Camp 2 blog post. We will utilize various collaborative learning exercises. Up front presentations will last no longer than 15 minutes per session. The bulk of the time will be spent in mixed teams working together to assimilate the information and discuss how it all relates to our living and finishing well.

The afternoons will be used specifically for outdoor recreation. The property has a beautiful, fully stocked lake for fishing and canoeing. There are abundant options for hiking both on the property and on the adjacent public properties. Downtown Estes Park is just a short 15-minute drive from the Ranch.

How Much? The cost per participant will be around $400 which includes 4 nights of lodging, all meals, and all conference materials. Cost does not include transportation to and from the Ranch. Denver is one of the least expensive airports to fly in and out of and there are lots of direct flight options from major airlines.

When? We're looking at some dates in the Fall of this year . The plan would be to arrive on a Thursday for dinner and then leave anytime the following Monday. That will give us three full days on the ranch (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday).

Who? Primarily Baby Boomers born between 1946 and 1964, but we will not be checking I.D.'s and would welcome especially some sages from the Greatest Generation who were born before 1946.This would be a great thing for boomer aged pastors to bring with them one or two of their key boomer aged church leaders.

Why? I think this sort of gathering could not only free up the participants to focus and work on the issues that will allow them to maximize the rest of their lives, but it will also equip them to help other boomers where they live to do the same. Many believe that this generation of American adults are a sleeping giant, that if properly awakened and mobilized could have the greatest positive impact on the world of any generation in all of human history. I would like to be a part of something like that. How about you?

I would love to hear your comments as to what you think.

Boomer Camp Part 2

What are the Variables in Finishing Well?

In 1998, John Rowe and Robert Kahn co-authored the book, Successful Aging. The book summarizes the findings of a MacArthur Foundation Study that tracked about 1189 very healthy adults between the ages of 70-79 for a period of 7 years. Though the book may seem a bit dated, it is still regarded as one of the most authoritative sources on how people can age well. Many of the findings in the book are counter-intuitive, and they establish the fact that lifestyle choices you make determine your health and vitality.

What are the key behaviors or characteristics that lead to successful aging according to Rowe and Kahn?

1. Low risk of disease and disease-related disability
2. High mental and physical function
3. Active engagement with life

I think these three factors pretty well sum up the variables that determine how most baby boomers can maximize the second half of their adult lives.

Under the first area (Avoidance of Disease) we could put such things as:

• Health
• Nutrition

The second area (High Mental and Physical Function) would include:

• Challenging your mind on a regular basis
• Physical fitness programs
• Weight loss programs

The last area (Active Engagement with Life) would incorporate:

• Social networks of friends and family
• Relationships and activities that provide closeness and meaningfulness
• Purposeful work (paid or unpaid) that provides goods or services of value to others

I would add a few more variables to aging well and finishing well, such as good financial planning and management, and personal, spiritual growth and development, discovering your passion and living it out, etc.

My hope for the Boomer Camp experience is that the groups we form will consist of men who are strong in some of these areas, and challenged in others. Using collaborative learning tools, we will facilitate a process that would allow everybody to be both a teacher and a learner as we move through these specific areas.

I don't think that it is outside the realm of possibility to think that we could dream about ways in which we could take on some big, global problems together as we unleash our passions in partnership with God. My hope is that many of those who participate in the Boomer Camp experience will be men who are already engaged in major efforts tackling such things as human trafficking, poverty, hunger, education, orphans, aids, etc.

Is it too much to expect that the largest, healthiest, wealthiest, and best educated generation of older Americans ever could impact the world as we know it in ways never dreamed of? I want to be a part of this. How about you?

Gordon MacDonald Generosity

A few years ago I read a good book, A Resilient Life by Gordon MacDonald. He has some really great thoughts. The book is written in short, thought provoking chapters that have helped me reflect on my life in a refreshing way. This morning I read the chapter entitled Resilient People Live Generous Lives. He mentions a few things that make a lot of sense about retirement and generosity:

A long time ago I dropped the word retirement out of my vocabulary. I don't believe in it. In the aging process, slowing up in tandem with one's diminishing strength might be a necessity. But retirement suggests, at least to me, a transition from activity to inactivity, from giving to taking. Where in the Scripturess does one find permission to do that? We are called, at all times of our lives to be generous with our time.

Most people think of generosity in terms of the almighty dollar. But generosity is a much larger issur than just money. We are talking about a way of life that begins with this question: What of me can be shared, given away?

I like this and I think it is consistent with what we are learing about the Encore Generation, that it represents a huge wave of people that may want to slow down a bit in the pace of life they are living, but who don't want to stop investing their lives in others to make a difference in the kingdom.

MacDonald continues on in this chapter to calls us to ask ourselves the following:

• What can I give out of what I can do?
• What can I give through what I am?
• What can I give through what I have?

Giving has as much to do about how we use our time, our relationships, our giftedness, and our experience as it does with our financial resources. It is a shame that many still chose retirement and the accompanying cesation of work at the very time when they could be preparing their encore by wisely investing the rest of their lives in the active generosity for the sake of others and the growth of the kingdom.

Boomer Camp Part 1

For the past several years I have ruminated over something that for lack of a better name I am calling Boomer Camp. The basic idea involves bringing a group of between 10 and 25 boomer aged men to a destination place for 3-5 days for a time of collaborative learning about the factors involved in living well and finishing well in the second half of life. I will lay out a series of blog postings that explain why it is that I am doing this, and why I think it is so important.

This year (2010) baby boomers who were born between 1946 and 1964 range in age between 46 and 64. 2006 was the first year this huge cohort began turn 60 at the rate of about 4,000,000 per year! I have a friend who refers to the baby boomers as the "New Olds". I like this designation, because it refers to a new brand of older adults who for the most part will not do "old" in the same way that their parents did it. Many people wonder what the future impact of the boomers will look like in America. Marc Freedman in his excellent book, Encore--Finding Work that Matters in the Second Half of Life, presents two contrasting scenarios as possible answers to this question:

Worst-Case Scenario--The year is 2030

The youngest baby boomers are midway through their sixties and starting to claim their Social Security benefits. And none too soon, since the coffers are nearly empty. As many boomers say with only a touch of irony, at least we got ours.

The fittest boomers still boast that eighty is the new sixty, but the rest of the country has gotten tired of footing the bill for their lengthy retirement. After a seemingly endless run, America is ready for the baby boom generation to finally get off the stage.

With more than one in four Americans over sixty in this future society, generational conflicts abound. Walkers outnumber strollers; nursing homes proliferate while schools close. The millennial generation, now mostly in their thirties and forties, have taken "extreme working" to new heights, pulling extra shifts to support not only truly needy children and the elderly, but also a vast cohort of "greedy geezers" spending one-third of their lives on subsidized vacation.

The nation owes a debt to the boomers, in the form of an intractable deficit pushing the country ever closer to default. Spending on boomers' pensions and health care has replaced nearly all investments in the nation's future. Not only children, but the environment and the economy are suffering from these lost opportunities. America, like its swelling population of pensioners, is visibly and painfully well past its prime.

As the 2032 presidential election nears, boomer political power is finally on the wane. But the generation's legacy is assured. Boomers will be remembered as a self-absorbed, self-serving horde of over-indulgers who used their votes and their dollars to push their own interests to the forefront, posterity be damned. (Encore, pp. 1-2)

Best-Case Scenario--The year is 2030

The hysterical predictions of academic economists and assorted policy experts that once dominated discussion about the inevitable demographic trends have proven false. Few even remember concerns that the nation was headed to hell in a hand basket because of the huge population of "retiring" boomers. The feared "Gray 2K" was a nonevent, just like Y2K before it.

Instead, there is a palpable sense of progress. Longevity, demography, human development, generational experience, fiscal imperatives, labor market dictates, and the particular historical moment combined to lead boomers to contribute longer and to use their education and experience in areas with jobs to offer, deeper meaning to confer, and broader social purposes to fulfill.

Faced with the practical necessity of extended working lives, boomers have made it a virtue, N busy on their next chapters, second acts, or Careers 2.0. Some of the ills that seemed intractable at the beginning of the twenty-first century are fading, and others that appeared only to be worsening have made a 180 degree turn--all thanks to boomer labor power, now known as the "experience dividend."

Now, nearly everyone looks forward to an encore career. The oldest members of the millennial generation, entering their fifties, are getting ready for their own second acts, and younger people clamor for "purpose-driven jobs" in the same way earlier generations embraced early retirement. The goal now is to be able to stop climbing the ladder and start making a difference, to trade money for meaning, to have the latitude to work on things that matter most.

As the 2032 election approaches, political power is indeed passing to a new generation. But the boomer legacy is assured: A generation that set out to change the world surely did, by hanging the way the world thought about the purpose of work and the definition of success, and by rolling up its sleeves and doing the work that needed to be done. (Encore, pp. 3-6)

Which of these scenarios would you prefer to be a part of?

When I first read the following quote from Freedman's book some 3 years ago, it hit me right between the eyes:

Today, we face the prospect of tens of millions of boomers moving through their fifties and into their sixties...For most, it's a divide in the life cycle, a move from well-established terrain to a new phase of life and work that remains poorly defined but will last for decades. If they fail to navigate this transition successfully, if they are left at loose ends, underemployed, lacking purpose, feeling diminished and betrayed, the results could be disastrous for the economy, for society, and for individuals.

Who is going to help this huge cohort of people to "navigate this transition successfully"? I am hoping that Boomer Camp gatherings will create a platform that will help boomer men to identify what are the variables involved in finishing well. It is also my hope that these gatherings will equip hundreds of leaders to prepare other boomers for what could well be the best years of their lives.

Who is the Encore Generation?

If you haven't already noticed, America is growing old. Leadership Network (LN) tries to keep its eyes on the future of North American and Global Culture. They realize that America is growing old. Ken Dychtwald, the founder and president of Age Wave recently stated that two thirds of the people who have ever lived beyond the age of 65 are alive today. The number of Americans age 55-64 will increase by more than 70 percent between the year 2000 and 2020. The number of Americans 65 and older will increase by about 55 percent in the same period of time. By contrast, here are the percentage changes for the following age groups: Under 14 (+8%), 15-24 (+9%), 25-34 (+7%), 35-44 (-10%), 45-54 (+2%).

This age wave is running rapidly through the nation, and Leadership Network wants to help prepare the Church in America to capitalize on the incredible capacity of the new kind of older adults who are rapidly becoming the dominant fabric of our nation. The New Face of Work Survey (May, 2005) conducted by Princeton Research for Met Life and Civic Ventures indicates that “fully half of all adults age 50 to 70 say they are interested in taking jobs now or in the future to help improve the quality of life in their communities.” The new older Americans not only bring better health, longevity and experience into the mix, but they also desire to invest it back into their communities.

“That’s where I believe a number of us Boomers are going,” writes Ron Crossland of Bluepoint Leadership Development. “We are going to work more casually, work in a different industry, work for different purposes, but work we will. Yeah, some of it will be driven by the fact that we can’t stop just yet because we are anxious about money. And yeah, some of it will be driven by the fact that our spouses will not be able to tolerate our company 100% of the time. And yeah, some of it will be driven by the fact that recess is fun, only for a while. But I believe it will be driven mostly by the fact that we aren’t finished making a contribution — that there’s an encore in all of us.”

This year 4 million more Americans will turn 60, and they will be joined by another 4 million each year for the next 15 years. This is the Encore Generation. An unprecedented number of healthy, capable, experienced adults are expectantly looking for opportunities in which to invest their time, skills and talents to expand the Kingdom in new and innovative ways.

What is your encore going to be?

Living and Leaving a Legacy

In November of 2005 my whole family decided that we wanted to spend Thanksgiving week with my dad and his wife, Lilly at their home in Sequim, Washington. My mom passed away in 1996 and two years later Dad married Lilly, who we would all come to know and love like our own mother and grandmother. Dad had been struggling with his health some, and we made it our goal to simply bless them as best we could. We wanted to spoil them by doing all the cooking and cleaning up for them while we were there. I told my three grown daughters that this would be a good time to ask them everything they wanted to know about them.

We had a very memorable week with Dad and Lil. It was one of the best weeks we have ever spent with them. More special now than ever, since Dad passed away unexpectedly in August of 2008. My only regret was that we didn't make more of a record of our time by writing stuff down or taking videos of Dad and Lilly as they told us about their lives.

My good friends, John Coulombe and Bambi Encarnation, lead the Older Adult Ministry at Fullerton Evangelical Free Church. They are two of the most effective and innovative leaders in the entire nation. They do many things so well, but John recently sent me some resources that they use to help their people live and leave a legacy for their families and loved ones. One of the things they help their people with is what they call a "Living Eulogy". Using a list of really great questions, they help people craft their stories to leave behind for others to enjoy. Here is the list of questions that they use:

Childhood

1. Which relative spent time with you as a child? What did you do?
2. Who was your favorite childhood friend?
3. When you were growing up, which room did the family spend the most time in? Describe it.
4. What were Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, summer, winter, spring, and fall like as a child?
5. What was your most embarrassing experience in school? What was your school like? Describe it.
6. With whom did you talk over your problems when growing up? As an adult?
7. What was your church like when you were 15 years old?
8. What was the grocery store like when you were 10 years old?
9. What were some of the ‘pranks you used to pull as a child/teen?
10. What activity, besides eating, went on at the kitchen table in your home when you were growing up?
11. Who were the religious and political leaders during your childhood/teen/young adult years?
12. Name/describe your first pet and your favorite pet.
13. What sports events did you enjoy watching/participating in as a child/teen?
14. Who would normally wake you up as a child?
15. What was a typical day as a child/teen?
16. Sing a popular song from your teen years.
17. What nickname did you have? Which one did you like? Dislike?
Which one do you wish you had?
18. Describe a favorite childhood game.
19. Tell about an aroma you recall from your childhood.
20. Share a “woodshed” experience.
21. Describe a favorite item in your childhood home.
22. What was your favorite family dinner as a child?
23. Describe your yard as a child.
24. What did you do on a Saturday night as a child? As a teen?

Parents & Relatives

25. What was your fathers/mother’s favorite food?
26. What did he/she do for a living?
27. What did your parents do for ”fun”?
28. Tell me about your parents’ physical features.
29. What state/country did your grandparents come from?
30. What is one word to describe your Mom and Dad’s personality?
31. What are the names/birth dates of all your brothers/sisters? Your children?

Grandchildren?

32. Describe the house/place where your grandparents lived.
33. Share the best thing about one of your brothers or sisters.
34. What made father/mother sad?
35. What was one of your parent’s favorite sayings?
36. What were your grandparents’ occupations?
37. What family incident is often talked about?

Medical History

38. What medical history should be known by your family?

Molders & Shapers

39. What did your parents think was most important in life?
40. What traditions would you most like to see passed on as family traditions?
41. What three people have you admired most in your life?
42. Besides your spouse, who has had the greatest influence on your life?
43. What were some of your most foolish decisions?
44. What part did your parents play in your religious training?

Gleaned Messages

45. What advice would you give about marriage/parenting? If you could do it over, what would you do differently?
46. If you could tell the younger generation one thing, what would that be?

Spiritual Life

47. If you were beginning your experience with Christ over, what would you do differently? Do the same?
48. Tell about your earliest faith experience.

Difficult Moments

49. What was the most difficult/painful experience you had as a child? As a teen? As an adult?
50. What was the hardest thing to do in all your life?
51. What was the most challenging experience of your life?
52. What was the most difficult death you ever experienced? Why?

Special Moments

53. Describe your wedding day.
54. What was the most fun you ever had?
55. Describe your first boyfriend/girlfriend?
56. Share a miracle you saw or experienced.
57. Share about the most famous person you ever met.
58. Tell about a special birthday you had.

Potpourri

59. In how many places have you lived? Which did you like the best? Why?
60. What item do you own that you value the most?
61. Tell a story about chewing gum.
62. Tell a story about something you lost or forgot?
63. What is your all-time pet peeve?
64. Describe the types of jobs you have held throughout your life. Which did you like the most? The least? Why?
65. Tell about some significant turning points in your life.
66. What are you thankful that you learned early in life (before age 25)?
(from a mentor, teacher, coach, roommate, and parent)
67. What do you wish you had learned much earlier before becoming an adult (and maybe are still learning)?
68. Name your accomplishments of which you are proudest.
69. Name experiences or events you regret.
70. Looking back, what is one of the best decisions you ever made? (Besides your conversion and marriage.)
71. What was the worst decision you ever made?
72. State an area of strength in your life
• which has given you fulfillment
• in which you excel
73. Specify an area of life that remains a struggle.
74. Tell of a specific answer to prayer in the past year.
75. Mention something that you are still waiting for God to do in the future.

As you can imagine, there is great value in doing this sort of thing with your families. Just a little investment in time to draw this stuff out and to archive it as a written or recorded history will create a great blessing to the families and preserve their legacy. Just think how much of this has been lost for surviving generations simply because nobody took the time to somehow save it for posterity.

You are out of excuses now. Get on with it.